Preface:
In some way, nothing in this blog is perhaps new, and yet many times we have this discomforting feeling of being stuck, with no where to go. This blog sheds light on some of the invisible forces that hold us back from achieving our full potential, creating a tension between ‘where I am ‘ and ‘where I want to be’. At times, we are stuck because we genuinely do not know what the next step is—a lack of clarity that leaves us paralyzed. At other times, the challenge isn’t about knowing; it’s about doing. There are many forces that anchor us to our current state even when the path is known.
I call these the ‘invisible forces’ as it is not immediately apparent to us and does not reveal itself easily. These are often cleverly disguised and not accessible to our conscious self. However, what is interesting is that, they exist for a reason and that is to ‘protect us’ from perceived harm or threat i.e to protect our sense of identity. Overcoming them therefore is not easy and requires an act of courage, an ability to step into discomfort, and challenge our beliefs and assumptions.
Exploring these Invisible forces:
Fear of the Unknown:
Even when we have logically concluded that a change is right for us, there is the fear of the unknown. This force is so powerful that it has the potential to immobilize us and keep us rooted in the safe / comfort zone. The mind reads the ‘unknown’ as a threat signal and this can trigger a wide range of emotions and feelings of anxiety.
How to Overcome It: It is really about the mindset Break down your goal into smaller, manageable actions that can be achieved. Another good way is to be able to visualize positive outcomes and how you would manage challenges.
Limiting beliefs and assumptions
We are constantly making sense of the world around us and this shapes us. Starting with childhood, and over time, we start to form highways of our belief systems and these are deeply rooted in our psyche. Many times, we get very rigid about these beliefs and they start to limit us. What complicated matters is that these beliefs are hidden and in our sub-conscious space.
How to Overcome It: The starting point is to actually acknowledge that we might be a hindrance to our own progress. Reflect on the fears associated with moving forward and why they exist in the first place. Start small, and conduct micro-experiments that might help to challenge these limiting beliefs. Over time and with patience, it is possible to make progress and embrace a growth mindset.
Past experience
They say experience is a great teacher. This is true and we gain a lot of knowledge and wisdom from our past experiences. That said, what if I told you that sometimes, these past experiences can become a limitation by creating rigid mental blocks. Even successful past experiences can become a roadblock for future growth, when we become hard wired about treating it as a formula.
How to Overcome It: Overcoming the limitations of past experiences starts with self-awareness. Reflective conversations can be an excellent way to challenge oneself. Ask yourself, what might I be missing here. Another excellent way is to remain open to feedback, thereby embracing diverse views.
Anxiety of learning and growth
The concept of the ‘anxiety of learning’ was first coined by Edgar Schein who talked about two kinds of anxieties when people step outside their comfort zones: a) the learning anxiety and b) the survival anxiety. This is because the human mind likes balance and stability and is quick to sense threat signals when faced with uncertainty. When people are unable to overcome their anxieties, their defenses kick in, taking them back to their comfort zone.
How to Overcome It: Remind yourself that the anxiety of learning is part of any significant change. Shift your mindset from “I must have it all figured out” to “I’m excited to see what I learn from this.” It’s okay to be a beginner, and it’s even okay to make mistakes — these are natural parts of the learning journey.
Expectations from Others
As members of the society, we are constantly in the spotlight. Our decisions are often intertwined with the expectations of those around us especially with family and friends. These expectations may be implicit or explicit, and may still unconsciously influence out thought process, sometimes overshadowing our own interests and vision of the future.
How to Overcome It: Reflect on whether the resistance to move forward comes from the fear of disappointing others or whether it’s genuinely your own hesitation. Being clear on your motivations allows you to align your actions with your authentic self rather than external pressures.
Comfort with Status quo
We have already touched upon this point in the earlier sections. Moving forward often means leaving behind a comfort zone that is familiar and what you are good at. Even if you’re drawn to the idea of change, the security of familiarity can be difficult to let go of.
How to Overcome It: Change is hard especially if it requires letting go. In way to motivate yourself is to look for excitement in the possibilities that lie ahead and by reminding yourself that comfort zones can be redefined with each new experience.
Summary
While knowing what’s right is an incredible start, translating this knowledge into action is often the more challenging part. As a first step, think about which of the invisible forces is holding you back and work through them by taking small steps.
Remember that growth is a not a straight line and many times we take two steps forward and one step back and that’s completely OK. Each one of us are wired differently and therefore the path we choose will be different, that fits with our motivation and interest.
The Power for self-transformation and growth lies within you.
Srikanth is the founder of Vruddhi India, a management consulting firm focused on Change leadership practices. We specialize in guiding companies through the complexities of change in a way that is uniquely personal and customized. You can email me at srikanth.pv@vruddhiindia.com for more information.